The Gift of Giving

I grew up decorating the house for Christmas on the day after Thanksgiving. Once the tree is up, my mind kicks into full holiday gear, especially thinking about all the things I need to do.

Addressing cards. Writing the annual Christmas letter. Baking. Making our traditional salamis and cheese balls. Filling the house with Christmas music. Attending parties. And last but not least, shopping and wrapping gifts for others.

Gifts seem to monopolize the season. And when you consider we are celebrating the greatest gift ever given - God Himself in the form of a baby - it's no wonder!

Still, I'm trying to turn the minds of my children to what they are giving more than what they might receive. We've already given a stack of loaded shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child and plan to Adopt-A-Family through our local church. That's a start.

But the gift of giving goes beyond wrapped packages under a tree.

During the past football season, you could say that I gave my husband the chance to pursue his dream of coaching at the college level - by working extra hours to replace the portion of salary he lost while volunteering his time and keeping the family running while he was on the road with the team.

This Saturday I'm giving another type of gift. This one is the gift of my time to sit at a book-signing table for a writer friend fighting for her life. Sandi Rog was diagnosed with Stage 4 T-cell Lymphoma as her first book, The Master's Wall, released. With the chemo and radiation, she can't be exposed to germs and was going to have to cancel the chance to promote her book. In support of her dream - not to mention the fact her publisher is giving a dollar per book above her royalties to support Sandi's husband and four kids - I'm glad to be able to do something to help sell a few of her books. (If you like inspirational historical fiction, you will love this story set in Ancient Rome. I devoured her book in a matter of days!)

And I'm giving one more gift this December. This gift is for me. Another gift of time. Time to dream my own dreams and to ask God where He wants to take my writing in 2011. Time to recharge my creative batteries and get caught up on a stack of books waiting to be read. Time to spend with family. Time to end the year focused on relationships rather than lists of things to do.

So, unless I'm otherwise inspired, I'll be taking a break from blogging until January.

What about you? What unusual gifts are you giving this year? What gifts have you given yourself?

Football Friday - Time Off to Watch

Since it's the day after Thanksgiving, my kids and my husband all have the day off from school. And I'm taking the day off too.

A day off for family, food, and football. Football on television and maybe a little more football in the backyard. But mostly time together as a family.

Enjoy your day!

Exhaling Grace

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV

As I finished reading Breathing Grace by Harry Kraus, I was struck by one of the parallels he drew. We were all taught in school that we breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. But our bodies can't absorb all the oxygen we take in, leaving enough oxygen in our exhaled breath to save another's life. That's why mouth-to-mouth resuscitation works. It might not be as much oxygen as in the air, but it's still a life-saving amount to the one unable to breathe at all.

The same can be said of grace. When we take in God's grace, love, forgiveness, and comfort, the supply is greater than we can absorb in that moment. Leaving grace to pass along to others in need. And when we are saturated by grace, it is impossible not to breathe it out to those around us. It flows out of us as naturally as, well, breathing.

What about you? Are you exhaling grace into the lives of those around you? Why or why not?

Living Thankful

"If you're worried and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep. And you'll go to sleep counting your blessings."

These words, from a song in White Christmas, seem to sum up this week's theme better than I can. With Thanksgiving on the horizon, it's a good reminder to keep our focus on our blessings instead of our troubles. After all, living thankful should be more than a once-a-year attitude of gratitude (even if I seem to need a scheduled holiday to get my act in gear).

So, I'm starting my week off with a list of all that's going well in my life.

• Starting at the top with a relationship with the Creator of the Universe who loves me more than I can imagine.
• Followed by my 14-plus-year marriage to a man of convictions.
• A special-needs daughter who has surpassed her prognosis and actually has friends at school.
• A pre-teen son who is healthy and uses his athletic gifts well.
• A first-grade son with a tender heart and a snuggly-gene.
• A warm house that more than meets our needs.
• Two cars that are paid in full.
• A steady job working from home for an amazing company and the fact my husband's job (and our health benefits) are protected by tenure.
• Speaking of health, that my chronic fatigue is under control and I've been able to exercise regularly for the first time in years.
• Family members who live nearby.
• Friends of all varieties.
• A church that teaches the Word and feeds my Spirit.
• The ideas for stories that fill my head and the two books that are almost ready for an agent-search.
• The training I've received, my critique partners, and the other writers I've met locally, nationally, and online.
• The freedom I have to worship because of the sacrifice of others.

Wow. That felt good. And I know I've only started to scratch the surface.

What about you? How long is your list of blessings?

Football Friday - The Reward

It's that time of year again. The time when sportscasters debate the intricacies and merits of the various post-season college bowl games and awards. Who is in the running for the Heisman? Who will be playing for the National Championship according to the BCS (Bowl Championship Series) computer and who should be? Who faced the toughest opponents, who won with the greatest point margins, and whose statistics are more impressive?

It's all about comparisons ... and extremely complex mathematical calculations. And those who come out on top get trophies, rings, national attention, and the chance to keep playing into the new year (and at the next level).

But what about those teams or players who end up just a bit further down the list? Are they any less worthy of recognition for their efforts?

When it comes to life, I sometimes feel like I'm being judged by equally complex calculations. How clean is my house? How polite are my kids? How physically fit am I and how out-of-date is my wardrobe? Do I volunteer at my child's school or our church? How many verses can I quote? How have my trials compared with those others have faced? Have I overcome the setbacks as easily as someone else did?

When I take a closer look, I realize I'm the one doing the judging. And I don't even know the true criteria!

Instead, when it comes to post-earthly-life rewards, I can rest in the word of God: "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." (Jeremiah 17:10 NIV)

What about you? Do you struggle with comparisons? Do you find hope knowing that God is the ultimate Judge? What would be the best reward you can dream of?

Spiritual Emphysema

I stopped at the grocery store on Monday to pick up a couple gallons of milk and a box of laundry detergent. On my very brief trip through the aisles, I had to maneuver -- twice -- around motorized wheelchairs bearing other shoppers with oxygen tanks. Granted, our area is known for a high percentage of retirees, but it seems like I see more and more people having trouble breathing. And it's not just the altitude.

Dr. Harry Kraus, in his book Breathing Grace, describes patients with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) or emphysema as those who have a long-standing partial obstruction to the flow of oxygen in and out of the lungs. This results in higher levels of carbon dioxide in the body. Normally when a person has too much CO2 or can't get enough oxygen, the body naturally starts breathing faster to compensate. (CO2 out, O2 in.) But in people with COPD or emphysema, their bodies have become used to the higher levels of CO2 ... and they don't breathe faster. So, they need a higher percentage of oxygen in the air they breathe.

They have lost their sensitivity to the carbon dioxide -- the very substance depriving them of the oxygen their bodies really need to survive.

What about us? We, too, can lose our sensitivity to sin and its consequences. We tolerate higher levels than we should in our lives. In the name of political correctness or tolerance or justification or self-righteous comparisons with others, we don't give up the very behaviors keeping us from boundless supply of grace. We don't see that we keep slipping into sin more and more often.

The solution to spiritual emphysema? Repentance. Turning away from self-serving behaviors. Looking at ourselves before judging our neighbors. But mostly focusing on the One who gives freely to those who ask.

What about you? Have you lost your sensitivity to sin? Why? Has it diminished your perceived need for grace?

The Joy of Research

As some of you know, I'm in the process of revising my second novel. Since this book is set in a dinner theatre, I wanted to confirm my details and bring the setting to life (not to mention wanting an excuse to indulge in my love of musicals). So, I booked my husband and I to see a show at a nearby dinner theatre.

The bonus? I had a coupon! Buy tickets to the last show in their old location, and get free tickets to see the holiday show in their new theatre. Not only would I get up-front-close-and-personal tidbits for the book, I could see two different locations for the price of one. (And get a second night out on the town.)

It gets even better.

At the end of the story in my fictional setting, the characters in my book are preparing to do White Christmas. Guess what the holiday show is that I get to see free? Yep. White Christmas. How's that for first-hand confirmation that my storyline is working?

Do you want to know something else? (Of course you do. That's why you're still reading.) My novel opens with the characters auditioning for 42nd Street. Drumroll please. This same local theatre is doing 42nd Street in March.

Coincidence? Nah. I'd like to think that God has a hand in even the smallest of details concerning our dreams. My critique partners have already commented on how real the setting feels - based entirely on my memory. Now, with the fresh experiences, I have a feeling the setting will come to life even more, making for better book. (And all the more likely to capture the imagination of an agent or editor.)

So, on Friday night, I'm headed out to do a little more research for my book. And loving every moment of the journey.

What about you? Have you had any "coincidences" in the pursuit of your dreams? What's your favorite musical? (I may need suggestions for a sequel!)

Football Friday - Time Out

The older I get (and I'm not sharing how old that is), the faster time flies by. I mean, wasn't it only last month that the kids started back to school? And Thanksgiving, two children's birthdays, and Christmas are coming in less than two months.

The game of life is rushing by with very few (if any) breaks in the never-ending list of things I need to get done. For illustration purposes, consider my day yesterday: get the kids up and off to school with lunches and shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child, clean the bathrooms, wash a large load of towels, stop to fill the van with gas, work-out at the gym, head home to read over 300 pages of a deposition and put into a narrative format, nibble on a bite of lunch somewhere in there, greet Anna when she got off the bus, drive the after-school carpool, listen to the 1st grader's reading homework, five minutes later load up the van again, swing by a fast-food place for an early dinner, drive to the 12-year-old's away basketball game, cheer, drive to the 6-year-old's swimming lesson, read more depositions for the next case, wrestle the van home because the power steering decided to go out while on the highway, search the Internet for power steering advice, read more depositions, fill out a form for my daughter's teacher, crash into bed.

Whew. Can't I call a time-out? Because I really need a moment to catch my breath, re-orient my priorities, weigh my options, make adjustments to my strategy, and listen to my coach.

Wait. That's what football players do. Several times a game. After all, each team gets six per game, not to mention the breaks between quarters and at half-time. And if those tough guys on the field need a breather, how much more does this tired Mom?

So, when life comes at you fast, remember to call a time-out. Your sanity will thank you.

What about you? When was the last time you needed to call a time-out? How long did it last? Did it help?

C is for Circulation

Since it's been awhile since I last passed along a bit of Wednesday Wisdom, let's start with a bit of review. Dr. Harry Kraus wrote a book, Breathing Grace, which compares our physical need for oxygen to our spiritual need for God's grace. Like the emergency room A-B-Cs of treatment (Airway, Breathing, Circulation), our spiritual resuscitation also depends on an A-B-C pattern.

A stood for acknowledging our need. Pride and trying to control our own lives blocks the flow of grace, but recognizing that we need help opens up the "graceway" into our inmost being.

B stood for believing the gospel. Being surrounded by grace (or oxygen) isn't enough. We have to get the muscles moving - specifically the diaphragm muscle necessary for breathing. Believing the gospel means putting our faith into action.

Which leads us to today. C - in the emergency room - is for circulation. Oxygen in the lungs isn't enough, unless the heart is strong enough to pump the oxygenated blood throughout the body to reach the cells. With oxygen, cells can create energy. But without a steady supply of oxygen, our cells begin to die. And that's never good.

The same can be said of grace. I need a continuous, moment-by-moment supply to energize my daily walk. It's not enough to acknowledge my need and believe, I need grace to touch every area of my life.

C stands for communion. Time alone in quietness and solitude. Time without distractions. Time spent listening and letting grace wash over me, saturating my soul and healing every hurt. Time to discover that my worth comes from being, not doing. Time set aside daily (because every day I need grace). Time for the truths to sink in and change the way I act.

And once grace fills us to overflowing, every area of our lives is touched by the abundance.

What about you? How do you remain in continuous fellowship with God? Are these A-B-Cs a natural response when you feel grace-deprived? Why or why not?

Speed Bumps

Imagine you're in your car, intent on reaching your destination, when you spot a wide yellow stripe across the road ahead. And in case you needed confirmation, on the side of the road is a warning sign.

Speed bump ahead.

What do you do? Accelerate? Maintain speed? Slow down? Your decision will affect the shocks and undercarriage of your car and jostle any open beverages. However, once you adjust to the consequences, you are free to continue on your way.

Why this discussion now? I've been facing several speed bumps in my own journey toward my writing goals. I'd originally hoped to revise and polish two completed novels by Christmas. Then, for the past month and a half, my day job piled on a lot of extra work with tight deadlines. So instead of 20-hour weeks, I've been putting in 35 to 40 hours a week on top of Mom duties, leaving very little time, energy, or inspiration for writing. The result? I backed off my goals to simply getting agent queries, proposals and the first three chapters of each ready.

Then, with a little breathing room at work (i.e. a 25- to 30-hour week), I hoped to get caught up with my critique groups. Until we had an internet glitch at home and I couldn't download the chapters I needed to look at.

What did I do? I slowed down, took a mental break, worked on a puzzle, read a couple short stories, and took a nap. Once the computer guy got me back online, I was ready to get back to work, with my sanity intact.

There's much to be said for a steady pace toward the destination. But when life tosses in a speed bump, I found there's nothing wrong with slowing down and getting over it safely. For now, it's time for me to get back to work on my goals.

What about you? When life gives you a speed bump, do you slow down or do you try to continue at your original pace? What have the results been?

Football Friday - Penalties

I'm finally back to blogging. (Even if it is later than I had hoped. Blame it on working over 40 hours last week during my "break" followed by a disfunctional wireless connection.)

As most of you already know, I'm a busy mom of three children, ages 6 to 13. By default, that also makes me the referee. Somehow, I'm supposed to be aware of where everyone is at all times, what they are doing, and whom they are doing it to. I should be on hand to immediately step in and punish the misbehaving offender with the appropriate (predetermined) consequence without allowing my personal emotions to influence the outcome.

Yeah, right.

Like I have eyes in the back of my head or something. Like I'm never sleep-deprived, hormonal, or simply frustrated with the frequency of the offenses. Like I don't have other things (work, fixing supper or driving the car) or other people (my husband, the person on the phone, another child) to take care of. Like I always have the appropriate consequence ready to hand down.

So, I miss stuff. The guilty go unpunished and the innocent cry "unfair!" I'm sorry. It happens. And I'll try better next time.

The same can be said of the game of football. Twenty-two players on the field. Four referees. You do the math. Somebody is going to miss seeing something sometime. And somebody is going to think they saw something that didn't really happen. At least they've got the advantage of instant replay in certain situations. But don't tell me that a sideline ref never gets ticked at being screamed at and maybe, sorta, throws a flag on that team in retaliation. They're human too (even if the guy behind me at the last game said they needed glasses).

The point? Life isn't fair. Not all the bad guys are caught or punished. And sometimes the innocent get caught in the cross-fire with unintentional consequences.

The real lesson comes in how I respond in the face of a flag (or no flag). Do I acknowledge I made the mistake and accept the consequences? Do I continue my behavior since I didn't get caught last time? Do I complain when someone else gets away with a foul? Or do I rejoice when others get caught? And do I find reassurance in the fact there is an ultimate Judge upstairs watching every player?

What about you? Are you the referee, the penalized, or both? How do you handle it when the bad guys get away with one? How do you respond when your mistake is overlooked?