Friday Focus - Rudy

One of my favorite football movies, Rudy, is based on the true story of a young man who dreamed since childhood of playing football for the University of Notre Dame.

Hampered by his small size and an undiagnosed learning disability, he ended up working in a steel mill after high school. However, after the death of the only friend who encouraged him, he decided it was time to pursue his dream. Packing his bag, he headed to Notre Dame.

Once in town, he enrolled in a junior college and bartered for tutoring help to get the grades necessary to transfer into his dream school. For two years, he lived, worked, and studied in the shadow of his dream. Never knowing if he’d ever get into Notre Dame.

Finally gaining admission into the University, he still had to get onto the football team. During walk-on tryouts, he sacrificed his body and demonstrated his work ethic and burning desire.

That heart captured a spot on the scout team with the reward of being pummeled at every practice.

Did he give up the dream? No. He continued to invest everything he had. Until the final home game of his senior year. Pull out the Kleenex, because Rudy got to suit up, eventually got into the game for a couple plays and was carried off the field on the shoulders of his teammates.

I love this movie because of the tenacity Rudy shows in the face of adversity. He never gave up.

(Caution: there is a bit of rough language in spots in case you wanted to watch it with the family.)

What about you? What is your dream? What steps are you taking to pursue it? Do you have friends encouraging you to keep going?

Aiming High

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” ~Michelangelo

When I think about the artistic achievements of Michelangelo, I wonder what he was aiming for if falling short was the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel.

That train of thought reminded me of hearing Debbie Macomber speak at the ACFW Conference last September. When she first started out as a writer, she wrote down her dreams – including having best sellers and having a movie made of one of her books. She dreamed big long before she had a solid foot in the publishing door. It was inspiring to realize that she had achieved all of the amazing things on her list.

While Debbie might have been content with each step along the way, I think that the dream pulled her forward to greater things.

What about you? Do you set your aim too high or too low? Are some of your “low aim” targets merely stepping stones to more?

Moving Beyond Purpose to Dream

Once I understand my purpose in life (to love God and love others), then everything else I do flows from there. My goals, dreams and desires find their foundation in purpose.

Last week, we looked at the top half of Jim Tressel’s visual tool link. Purpose was divided into family, spiritual, and caring sections. The bottom half of the diagram is for Goals and is also divided into three sections that cover the “doing” parts of life.

For his football team, Coach Tressel set these areas as Strength/Fitness, Football Family (Team), and Academics/Career. For each section, the players would fill in specific, measurable short-range goals and how they planned to reach them.

Health/Fitness – Health is important and I need to develop lifetime fitness habits, so I’m keeping that area. And setting goals like making one healthy eating choice a day, getting enough sleep, and doing strength exercises twice a week.

Team – Since I’m not on a football team nor part of a business team, I don’t have the group goals to contribute towards. However, I decided that my team is the “home team”. While my “family” section in the top half covers the relationships, my “team” section involves our financial, recreational, and physical space. Stuff like a budget, vacation planning, flower beds, photo albums, and decluttering/organizing closets.

Academics/Career – I may not be in college but I am continuing to learn and grow in my chosen profession as a writer. So, I set goals to attend a conference, send out a certain number of queries and reach word count targets.

You might pick three completely different areas. That’s up to you. And as life changes, feel free to revise your goals. This is just a framework to keep the being and doing parts of life in balance.

But what about dreams? Those things that keep coming back to mind? Write them down and turn them into a goal. A specific objective to work toward.

What about you? What three areas do you want to focus on? What is a specific goal you’ve set?

Friday Focus - Susanna

Today I'd like to tell you the story of an amazing woman who lived in the late 1600s.

The youngest of 25 children, she was raised as a preacher's kid. After marrying a pastor, she gave birth to 19 children of her own. Life wasn't easy for Susanna. Nine of her children died as infants. Money was always tight and their home burned down - twice. She took on the education of her children (six hours a day) and led family services on Sunday afternoons when her husband was out of town.

Despite her busy life, she set aside individual time with each child every week. In this way, she developed solid relationships and purposefully invested in their lives.

And, she organized her children's schedules so that she could spend two hours a day in prayer. Often under the cover of her apron if there wasn't an empty room available.

What is the fruit of her life? One of her sons, John, started a nation-wide revival in England while another, Charles, penned over 9000 hymns. Susanna Wesley is called the "Mother of Methodism" because the faith and example she lived daily transformed the lives of her children.

In her words: "I am content to fill a little space if God be glorified."

What about you? Do you think she was a “success” in life? Why or why not? Had she figured out how to love God and love others?

Love God and Love Others

“'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
~Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)

What is the most important thing I’m supposed to do? Love God. And then love others.

That’s all.

That’s more than enough to keep me busy. For the rest of my life.

And, if the three sections in Monday’s post were confusing, this condenses it further. Love God (Spiritual) and love others (Family and Caring).

What about you? Can you think of a better mission statement or purpose in life?

Mapping My Purpose

According to Jim Tressel and his book, The Winner’s Manual, purpose encompasses the aspects of my life that define who I am and the kind of person I want to become. Things like integrity, faith, family, and community. The “being” part of my life.

In order to balance work and family, Coach Tressel developed a visual organization tool to keep things in perspective. Calling it the Wheel of Life or the “Block O” (for Ohio State), he drew a circle with three sections at the top and three on the bottom.

The top half (i.e. most important parts) was labeled Purpose with subsections he titled Family/Personal, Spiritual/Moral, and Caring/Giving. For each section, he set specific, measurable short-range goals.

Family – Because my family is very important to me, I can set goals to strengthen my marriage such as regular date nights, “couch time” to talk, or taking "The Love Dare." I might plan time to connect individually with my kids. What about my parents, siblings, and extended family? Each of these goals exists to strengthen this area of my purpose.

Spiritual – My spiritual beliefs and moral values shape my life. How will I grow? Am I in a Bible study or accountability group? Will I attend church regularly?

Caring – I have a responsibility to reach out and make a difference in the lives of others. Passing on the blessings keeps the focus off of myself. Who will I reach out to and how often? Will I give money or invest my time?

By keeping these three areas at the top, I’m focusing on the “being” parts of my life and have a plan to get there. Plus, I know that growth in any one area will affect the others, too. (In case, you're curious about the bottom half, we're going to talk about that next Monday.)

What about you? What goals would you set in the areas of family, spiritual, and caring?

Friday Focus - Abraham Lincoln

Looking back on history, we see our nation’s 16th President as a man of conviction who waged a war over the issue of slavery and ultimately paid for it with his life.

But the seeds of his character were planted years before. In the evenings as a child when he studied by the fire and learned to read the Bible. When he continued to educate himself and read whenever he had the chance. When he ran for public office … and lost. When he decided to run again. When he was eventually elected President and seven states decided they didn’t want to be a part of the country anymore. When he issued the Emancipation Proclamation. When over 600,000 lives were lost on the battlefield.

Abraham Lincoln didn’t let failure stop him from pursuing his dreams nor let opposition change the essence of WHO he was at the core.

What about you? Have you let failure stop you from pursuing your dreams? Have you changed your beliefs in the face of opposition?

Doing, Being, and Becoming

“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson

I’ve spent much of my lifetime focused on doing things. At school, there were papers, projects, tests, and athletic competitions. At home, there were chores followed by other activities like reading or playing a game or piano lessons. Even at church, there were Sunday school classes, worship team rehearsals, service projects and youth group.

My calendar is still full of things to do. Errands to run. Children to carpool to their next activity. Meals to fix and clothes to wash. Songs to rehearse. Depositions to read for my parttime job. Word count goals to reach.

I’ve spent my days doing with little thought as to whether those activities contribute to the bigger picture of my life.

To be and to become. That’s my hope for this year. Otherwise all of my doing may not actually get me any closer to my dreams.

What about you? Do you agree with the opening quote? Is what you are “doing” linked to who you are or what you are becoming?

Defining My Worth

We’re now eleven days into the new year. How are you doing on your list of resolutions? Did you meet your goals for the first week of the year?

Um, not exactly here either. However, does that make me less worthy of a person? What if I told you that the reason I didn’t quite reach my goals was because I chose to spend some quality time with my children instead of sitting in front of my computer?

Goals are important but my worth is not defined by whether or not I reach them.

Our culture ties self-worth to performance. Yet, losing a game doesn’t make me a loser. Just like finishng a project doesn’t transform me into a wonderful person. One incident does not define who I am.

I’m learning to separate who I am as a person (my purpose in life) from what I do (my goals and dreams).

What about you? Did you meet your goals last week? Did that performance affect who you are as a person? How do you separate who you are from what you do?

Friday Focus - Jim Tressel

Jim Tressel is the head football coach at Ohio State and has an impressive win-loss record to speak of his success as a coach. Not to mention a victory in the Rose Bowl last week.

However, more than on-field accomplishments, he works to instill in his players the foundations for a successful life. A well-rounded life that extends far beyond the game to include family, academics, values, and giving back to the community.

The heart of what he shares with his players is contained in their team handbook. In 2008, he put that information into a book called The Winners Manual for the Game of Life.

I should let you know that this particular book, given to my husband by his uncle, has challenged the way I think about life and inspired my theme for the year.

This blog is all about encouragement for life’s journey. I want that journey to be a successful one. For each of us to reach our individual destinations. But, more importantly that we each find the peace of mind that comes from knowing we did our best to reach our full potential and fulfill our purpose in life.

So, over the next months, I’m going to take a closer look at what it takes to have a successful journey. Including the character of success and the practical steps we can take to achieve our dreams.

What about you? Do you find it surprising that a football coach really cares about more than wins and losses? What do you think are the foundations for a successful life?

Defining Success

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming” ~John Wooden

Remember Monday’s definition of success that included achieving, fame, and fortune? I like this definition better because I’d rather have peace of mind and satisfaction than the trappings our world offers.

Now, I realize that hearing a "Well done" from my Heavenly Father is the ultimate measure of success, but I discovered something else in that familiar story.

In the parable that Jesus told, the rich man left certain talents in the care of his servants. When he returned from his trip, he called them in and asked for an account. After they gave their report, two of them were commended for their measurable progress (five became ten and two became four). However, the third found a vastly different response because he had done nothing - not even getting interest from the bank.

The reward of hearing "Well done" came after the servants did something to develop what had been entrusted to them. I wonder how they felt walking into the room to present what they had done? Did they have a peace of mind or satisfaction because of their hard work?

For me, as much as I want to hear my own "Well done," I’d like to have the peace and satisfaction of knowing that I did my best to reach my full potential. That I did all I could to use the gifts God has given me. As a person, a wife, a mother, an employee, a writer.

Yet, if success is measured by knowing I did the best I could to develop what I've been given, what is it going to take for me to feel successful?

That brings me back to my list of New Year’s resolutions. If I work steadily toward my list of goals, will I have done my best to be the best that I can be? Or would this only work if my list of goals is targeted toward that ultimate destination?

By the way, the John Wooden who gave this definition of success, was the first person to be a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame as both a player and a coach. He coached UCLA to 10 National Championships in just 12 years.

What about you? Do you agree with this definition of success? Why or why not? How will you know you’ve done your best with your gifts?

The Measure of Success

I want 2010 to be a successful year. But, more than that, at the end of my life’s journey, I want to hear “Well done.” How do I get there? How will I know if I’m successful?

Will I be successful if I check everything off my to-do list? Keep all of my New Year’s resolutions faithfully? Accomplish my goals?

But what if I manage to check everything off my list except for one thing? Does that mean that I have failed? Or have I only failed if I don’t accomplish at least 60% of the expectations. (That’s how they grade in school.) And if 60% is not failing … would that also be considered success?

Maybe I should start by defining success.

According to the dictionary, success is the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted. Or the gaining of fame or prosperity.

Hmmm. Not so sure that last definition is the kind of success I’m seeking (although I wouldn’t turn down the wiggle room in my back account).

If I look at synonyms for success, I find attainment, accomplishment, and achievement followed by best seller (wouldn’t mind that one), box-office hit, triumph, victory, grand slam, coup, stroke of genius, good life, life of luxury, easy street, wealth, riches, fortune, fame, renown.

Something about that list makes me wonder if this is the kind of success I’m really seeking. Sure, I want to achieve what I’m setting out to accomplish but there has to be more to it than fame and fortune. How would I even know if I'd gotten enough to be considered successful?

(Don’t worry. I found a different definition for success that I like a whole lot better. But I’ll save that for Wednesday.)

What about you? How do you define success? How will you know when you have achieved it?

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2010 and 365 days of new possibilities.

There’s something about opening a new calendar year that jumpstarts my energy and creativity.

I begin by making a list of what I hope the days ahead hold. Going beyond the lineup of children’s activities, sports, vacation, Bible studies, choir rehearsals and the rest of my family’s busy schedule, I take time to dream.

What books do I want to read?
What books do I want to write?
What new hobby do I want to try?
By how much do I want to reduce our debt?
How much do I want to weigh next Christmas?

So, I dream. I dream with realism but I also dream big.

What about you? What are your dreams for 2010? What do you hope for the 365 new days ahead?