Road Trip - Benefits

In looking back over our road trip memories, what makes this type of journey worthwhile? Especially when we could hop on a plane and reach our destination so much faster?

When our family decided to go to Branson, Missouri last summer, we weighed our travel options. The main factor in our final decision was financial. We could buy five round trip plane tickets but then we'd still need to rent a car to get around Branson. After calculating the price of gas, five could travel by land for less than the price of one person flying. We chose to drive.

Looking back, there were other benefits to our driving. A more leisurely pace. The opportunity to see more of the country. Bonding time as a family. Memories.

What about life? Is there more to the journey than simply reaching the destination? By taking a road trip, we can learn and grow along the way. Travel at our own pace. Meet amazing people and see different walks of life. Gain new perspective. Create memories to last a lifetime.

What about you? Are you in a rush to reach the goal or do you enjoy the journey?

Road Trip - Entertainment

Another aspect of the road trip is entertainment. Not the kind where you stop to see a movie or visit a museum. No, I'm talking about what you do inside the vehicle to maintain peace and sanity.

Playing music or singing songs. Reading a book aloud or listening to one on tape. The portable DVD player and a stack of movies. Portable video games. The non-electronic coloring or activity books with new crayons or markers. Small surprises wrapped and ready to come out at critical moments. "I Spy" or the Alphabet game or the license plate game (and the numerous variations of the above). Magnetic or travel versions of Sorry, Connect Four or checkers.

The bottom line is that sitting in a car for a long time can get monotonous and boring. We need variety. Distractions. Laughter. Fun. (Or some of those dreaded squabbles are quite likely to erupt and if Dad has to pull over the car ... well, let's not go there.)

It's the same with life. You know what they say about all work and no play? Well, dull makes for a very long journey. We need permission to relax and find joy in the simple pleasures. To find creative diversions from the stress of life. To laugh, love and live.

What about you? Is your journey dry and dull? What do you do for entertainment along the way? Or is entertainment even important?

Road Trip - Pit Stops

If life is like a road trip, we've been taking a closer look at the journey.

Over the past two weeks, we planned the destination, packed our stuff and hit the road. With the help of a map or GPS, we headed in the right direction and look forward to reaching the next landmark along the way. After resolving the backseat squabbles, we checked the mile markers to measure our progress and see if we're almost there.

What else happens on a road trip?

Well, if your family is anything like mine, pretty soon somebody needs to stop and go potty. It's time for a pit stop.

Our family pit stops could never rival those of NASCAR. For one thing, we all exit the vehicle and stretch our cramped muscles. Everybody - whether they think they need to or not - makes a restroom visit. We top off the gas tank and empty out the trash. Maybe check the oil or tire pressure. Last, we raid the cooler for drinks and snacks before climbing reluctantly back into our seats for the next leg of the trip.

What about life? Do you zoom down the highway of life without stopping to take care of yourself and basic needs? Do you take regular breaks or do you wait until the fuel gage has bottomed out? This journey takes a lot out of us - emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually - and we need to take the time to empty out the trash, stretch, and refuel.

What about you? When was the last time you made a pit stop? Was it rushed like NASCAR or leisurely? How did you refuel?

Road Trip - Are We There Yet?

Anyone who's taken a road trip can relate - even if you didn't have whining and/or fighting children in the back seat. In the middle of the journey, it feels never-ending.

Endless stretches of road. Scenery that doesn't change and looks the same as it did two hours ago. Has anything changed (aside from the cramp in my backside and legs)? Are we making progress?

When my kids ask the inevitable (and dreaded) question "Are we there yet?," several possible answers run through my mind. "No." Or "Look out the window. Does it look like we're there yet?" Or "the next person who asks that question will wish they hadn't."

Been there? Please don't tell me I'm the only one.

The best solution I've found is to watch the side of the road for the next mile marker or a sign that indicates how many miles until the next town. Then, I can pull out the map and find where we are. Tracing back, I can see how far we've come. Moving forward, I can see how much remains. By the time I've done this, another couple of miles have gone by. More variations on the map activity include counting down the miles until the next town, estimating how long it will take to reach there (and checking against the clock), and determining where we'll be when it's time for a lunch break.

What about life? As the days fly by, we can sometimes get disoriented by the monotony. The mountains of laundry and dishes that multiply overnight. The juggling of home and work. Day after day and week after week. In all of the busyness, have we really accomplished anything or made any progress? How can we tell?

By finding out exactly where we are on the journey. By looking back to see how far we've come. By looking ahead to see how close we are to the next landmark or destination. By setting short-term goals and working to achieve them.

What about you? How do you measure progress? Are you almost there yet?

Road Trip - Squabbles

Too much family togetherness in a confined space without opportunity to escape? One of the downsides to the road trip.

Squabbles. Fights. Arguments. Tiffs. Complaints. Accusations of "she won't share" or "he's touching me" fill the air. Raw nerves and buttons pushed. Until finally Dad reaches his breaking point and yells "If I have to pull this car over on the side of the road, ..."

Now, before you blame it all on the kids, the front seat has its share of problems too. Navigation errors, restaurant choices, and music selection can become hot topics when muscles are cramped and sleep is deprived.

What about life? There are times we're going to get irritated with our fellow travelers. And, yes, they are going to get irritated with us. So what can we do about it?

First, try to understand why this bothers us so much. Are we tired, sick, or stressed? Have we dealt with this problem repeatedly with little visible progress? Is the other person's opinion important to us? Is this an attack on our possessions, values or worth? Or, is this just the last straw on a very bad day?

Second, evaluate if we've done anything to make the issue worse. Has our response been appropriate, logical, or necessary? Have our words or actions been misunderstood? Have we misunderstood them?

Third, weigh our options and choose. Clear the air. Mediation. Time. Distance. Turn the other cheek. Give a quiet answer. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive. Pray for. Speak the truth in love.

Will these steps solve every backseat conflict? I wish. But, they're a start.

What about you? How do you solve the backseat squabbles of life?

Road Trip - Landmarks

So far on our hypothetical road trip, we've planned our destination and route, chosen what to pack (and what to leave behind) and taken a look at our map to know when we need to turn. Today, we're turning our focus to landmarks.

Those prominant and identifying features of the landscape that serve as guideposts or turning points in our journey. Those things we see on the horizon that grow closer with every mile. Often, they carry historical significance because others passed this same place on their journey.

When I was growing up, our family lived in Scottsbluff, Nebraska for several years. Outside of the town, there is a unique formation of rock bluffs rising 800 feet above the nearby North Platte River (see the picture). Named after a trapper who died at the base of the cliffs, Scott's Bluff served as a landmark on the Oregon, Mormon, California, and Pony Express trails. Not only could pioneers see it from a distance, but they would set up camp and rest while the scouts climbed the heights to scan the area.

The landmark symbolized the completion of one stage of the journey as well as the start of the next.

It's the same with our journeys. While the ultimate destination is a long way off, there are intermediate places we aim for. And places we linger - soaking up the moment before climbing back in the car (or covered wagon) and focusing on the next leg of the trip.

As a mother, those landmarks are called "developmental milestones." Sitting up, rolling over, pulling to a stand, cruising, walking, talking, reading, writing. I remember our struggle to help Anna achieve each of these. Our next landmark is puberty. (Yikes!)

As a wife, the landmarks pass with anniversaries, buying our first house, the arrival of children, moving and more.

As a writer, the landmarks pass with completing courses, finishing manuscripts, getting the first article published and more.

What about you? What landmark are you currently aiming toward? When you reach it, will you stop to enjoy the moment or rush ahead for the next stage?

Road Trip - Navigating

With a destination in mind and the luggage packed, it's time to hit the road.

We back out of the driveway and turn right at the corner. Getting out of our immediate neighborhood is easy because we've gone this way before. The scenery is familiar and we've traveled these streets many times. To the grocery store. To church. To the doctor's office. To school.

However, the time comes to make another turn and merge onto a highway headed out of town. We're soon out of our comfort zone and every mile puts us further from home. The view out the window is strange.

At first, we're excited about the adventure. Then, uncertainty sets in. Are we headed in the right direction? Is this really the road we should be on? How do we make sure we don't miss the next turn?

So, what do we do? Ask the navigator. The one with the map or the computer-generated voice of the GPS system. The one with the step-by-step directions and a big picture view of the journey. In our family, that's me. The one with the giant (outdated) road atlas trying to calculate how much further to the next town big enough to have a McDonald's.

My mom and I once took a road trip to watch my husband's football team play a game over five hours away. She'd just gotten a GPS system and we had a lot of fun listening to the woman's voice tell us our next turn was in 95 miles. And helping us find the closest gas station. We found ourselves relying on her voice, even when she led us to a grassy park instead of a football field. Oops. At that point, we had to ask the people who actually lived there for help finding the game.

Yet, the GPS directions reminded me of a favorite verse in college - "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:21 NIV)

What about you? Do you ever doubt your path? Where do you turn for directions along the way? Who do you consider a reliable source of information?

Road Trip - Packing

Now that we know the destination of our road trip, it's time to pack our bags.

But, before I toss anything into a suitcase or duffle, I need a little information. So I can plan accordingly and be prepared when I reach my destination. What will the weather be like? Snowy or sunny or rainy? What activities will I be doing while there? Swimming at the beach? Rock climbing? Skiing? Exercising? Five star restaurants or fast food? Or are we cooking while there? Church services or museums or lectures or concerts? Walking all day or lounging beside a pool?

With this information, I knew to pack shorts and T-shirts for our trip to Branson. Swimming suits for the resort pool and the lake. Life jackets for tubing. Water bottles and daypacks for the days at the amusement park. One change of "nicer" clothes for the dinner cruise. Some of the food for our week's stay and a grocery list for when we arrived. Bug spray and sunscreen. A couple umbrellas. Crocs instead of flip flops.

What about our journeys in life? When I wrestled with chronic fatigue syndrome, I packed along a multitude of vitamin supplements and protein shakes. With Anna's gastroesophageal reflux, we packed prescription medications, medical tests, and baggies of Tums. With my writing, I pack along a small notebook and pen wherever I go in case I get inspired.

However, more than the practical things, there are a few other items to consider packing for your journey. Things like accurate information. Focus. Determination. Perseverance. Hope.

Oh, and what not to pack? Leave the fear at home. And the past. And the doubt. And the discouragement. And the critics.

What about you? What are you carrying on this journey? Is there anything you should leave behind? Anything you should pick up along the way?

Road Trip - Planning

We're going to take a road trip.

What's that you say? Where are we going? How will we get there?

I'm glad you asked, because we need to do a little planning before we put the key in the ignition and back out of the driveway. Last summer, our family took a trip to Branson, Missouri. That was our destination. Now, the route we took? That involved much debate and cross-referencing the GPS and Mapquest driving directions to see if the shortest route was also the fastest. And if someone's too cheap to pay for a toll road, is there a backroads way to save a few bucks that won't drive their wife crazy?

Er, forget I wrote that. Back to the topic. It's a good idea to have a plan before you start. (Not that the plan won't change along the way when you run into road construction or bad weather or see a sign for the Fick museum that would make the perfect backdrop for this year's family Christmas card photo.)

In addition to charting your path, you might also make a few reservations in advance. Like booking your hotel or trading in the timeshare condo. Buying tickets for a show or theme park.

Whatever the journey, it helps to have a destination in mind and a plan to get there.

When my daughter was first diagnosed with Cornelia de Lange Syndrome (CdLS), one big goal we had was for Anna to be able to communicate her needs. Destination - communication. To get there, speech therapists and teachers (and me) began working on small goals like imitation of behaviors, imitation of sounds, pointing at a picture to make a choice between two objects or activities, a few basic signs, etc. as the planned route to our destination. Along the way, we booked countless appointments with therapists. (Note: I think the new goal is communication without whining, tattling, complaining, or the bossing around of siblings and parents.)

As a writer, my destination is publication for my novel. To get there I'm taking writing courses, writing, working with a critique group, rewriting, reading writing craft books, editing, entering contests, pitching at conferences, and sending queries and proposals. I've booked myself into writer's conferences and writers' group meetings.

I'm in the middle of plotting my next book. I know where my main character starts the story and I have a destination in mind for the ending. Now, all I need is to figure out how to get from here to there. (And for my writing friend followers, even seat-of-the-pants writers usually have a vague idea of the destination.)

What about you? Do you have a destination (goal)? Where is this journey taking you? Do you have a route planned?

Road Trip Lessons

Ever taken a road trip? Loaded up the car and headed off on a journey?

This past summer, we loaded three very sleepy kids into a packed minivan and pulled out of our driveway at the extremely dark hour of 3:45 a.m.

Destination? Branson, Missouri for a family vacation. Once there, we'd be staying in a two-bedroom condo at a resort with indoor and outdoor swimming pools and a miniature golf course. Passes to Silver Dollar City Amusement Park awaited us. Plans to take a dinner cruise on Table Rock Lake. More plans to rent a pontoon and do a little fishing/swimming/tubing on the same lake.

But, between here and there? Over 800 miles of countryside rolling past the windows. And 13 hours of family togetherness.

Of course, there are lessons to be learned from taking a road trip and we'll be unpacking them over the next three weeks. So, to get your juices flowing, what was the last road trip you took? Who went with you? Where were you headed?

Transformations - 8

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us . . . And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:18, 28 NIV)

For the past seven Monday, we've looked at the transformation process in:

• eggs, carrots and coffee beans - especially how they all react differently to the boiling water.
• diamonds - how intense pressure, heat, time and a cutting process create a sparkling gem.
• pearls - how irritations transform into valuable assets.
• sea glass - how the broken and discarded pieces of life get polished into collectibles.
• silver - how heat causes impurities to rise to the surface to be skimmed away leaving a mirror to reflect the image of the refiner.
• stained glass - how pieces of our lives are rearranged and fit together to create a master pattern.
• butterflies - how worms go into hiding and are rebuilt from the inside out to become a colorful creature that can fly.

Each of these went through a period of "present sufferings." Heat, pressure, time, brokenness, darkness, irritations, being tossed in the waves of life.

Each was changed in the process. The eggs became hard and carrots soft. But, the rest? They became something of value. Changing the circumstances with a rich aroma. Filling the world with beauty. Reflecting the light. Soaring on the breeze.

What about me? My journeys are also full of "present sufferings." But, I'm being changed by the journey. If I can keep my eye on the "glory that will be revealed in us" and trust that God - the Refiner and Master Craftsman - is working all the pieces into place, then somehow the current pain serves a purpose.

What about you? How are you being changed by the journey? Aren't you glad that God has a plan?

Transformations - 7

Since we are changed by the journey, we've been looking at examples of transformations. Many of them involved heat, pressure, irritation, and being broken. Ouch. But, what about waiting in the dark for something to happen?

Today's spotlight is the butterfly.

This insect starts out as a worm, er, caterpillar. It spends its days crawling around and eating. As it grows, it sheds its old skin for a new one. While it might have interesting stripes and fuzzy hair, the caterpillar is anchored to the ground by gravity.

Then, one day, the caterpillar spins a cocoon and disappears. Literally. For a long time. While inside, the caterpillar's tissue is broken down and a new structure is formed. This is the transformation stage.

At last, the shell is broken open and a butterfly emerges. Fragile, colorful wings are unfurled and tested in the breeze. Until, at last, the insect takes flight for the rest of its life. Soaring and migrating to places it never imagined as a caterpillar.

What about me? Yep, some days I feel like a worm. Anchored down by responsibilities. I might have a few semi-attractive characteristics but, really, all I do I live for me and my needs. (And, I'll stop before I mention growing and, um, needing to get some new skin, er, clothes.)

Then comes a time of transformation. Often in the dark since I can't see what God is doing. Waiting and waiting for something to happen. Yet, I'm being changed from the inside out. I'm a little cramped and can't wait to get out of this place. It's uncomfortable.

Finally, I feel myself breaking free. Seeing the light after so much darkness. Spreading wings I didn't know I had. Gaining altitude and a new perspective. Going places I'd only dreamed of.

What about you? What stage of this process are you in? Does knowing there's a butterfly at the end make the waiting worthwhile?

While I'm Waiting

Ever have a song that just keeps playing in your head? Are the words ever the ones you really need to hear? Over and over and over until they sink in?

My daughter's second favorite movie - if you base such things upon which disc is usually in the DVD player - is Fireproof. The first time we saw the movie, I cried during one of the songs because the words spoke so clearly to my heart. (If you haven't seen the movie, click here to see a video of the song by John Waller called "While I'm Waiting")

As if I hadn't heard the song enough already, it became a theme song of sorts at the ACFW Conference. And it's been playing in my head ever since.

Reminding me that times of waiting involve both pain and hope. That I can find peace even when it's hard. That I can make the choice to serve, to worship, and to obey - even while I'm waiting.

So, what are you waiting for? And what are you doing while you wait?